I know that I want to start updating this on a regular basis it is just that is such a hard task when SO much happens in a week. And especially where I have not written once or updated actually on what is going on here.

So, perhaps, instead of trying to cram everything that has happened in the month that I have been here I will talk about this last week.

This week we had a teacher from Texas come talk to us. His name is Dave Dickson. He talked about Art and the Artist in Gods Perspective. Such good words. I really enjoyed hearing him speak because he seemed like a such a real man. A humble spirit. He spoke such a life into us about how God has created us and how we are as artists.

Something I will insert here a little about how I am feeling here as far as creating goes. This is such a safe environment for really experiment with the talents that God has given us. It is an awesome year to really devote to God and just experiment in every way possible in our artistic talents. It is such good training ground. Often I get scared of going home because I am scared all this freedom I feel to create will leave. But I know those thoughts are wrong and that does not have to be the case.

This place though, it is such an inspiring place to be. Ideas tend to be flowing. And most of the time I really feel like I can experiment and people are not going to tear me down if it looks bad. More and more I am learning to paint and to create what it is that is on my heart. Often at home I would have people telling me that I had to create "pretty" things or things that people would "like" ... and I heard that so much sometimes that I started to wonder if perhaps that is what I should do. But I think about it now, and realize how that is not how God has created us to create. I want to paint and create things that God gives me. Maybe a painting that everyone will think is ugly but it may touch the heart of one person. Just one. [Insert about how I feel done]

It is so exciting to think that God has created us as artists. To create alongside of him. Not just the fine artists musicians, etc. But everyone. One thing that I have really been consciously trying to do is to stretch my thoughts and how I do things because we get so habitual in our every day lives. Life becomes such a habit and we miss out on adventures. He challenged us to eat with our opposite hand one night at dinner or just to do it a different way and Maria and I fed eachother our meal. Such a simple silly thing but it brought such laughter and was really fun! So, if we had not done that than I would have just sat there eating my food and would not have laughed so much.

Now the Redemptive Art. . .

He gave us an assignment to do and that was to create a piece of Redemptive Art work. A piece of art that represented something that has happened to us in our past or is happening in our life that confuses us. That we do not understand why it happened in our life and it has created a lot of hurt and soreness in us.

I really wanted it to be something new something different that I have not really tried to heal or something that I am struggling with now that may be holding me back or confusing me.

What almost immediately came to mind was something that my heart feels. Not something that I had physically experienced in my life. I made an art piece representing what the inside of me feels like. It was a green wine bottle that I glued two hands on [I had to glue them on the outside because I did not have a way of putting them on the inside of the bottle] but the point of it was two hands that were pressed up against the bottle trying desperately to get out. The bottle represented my heart. Inside of the bottle I put rocks, dirt, small sea shells, broken glass, nails, a bunch of little red hearts that I cut up and tried to fill up a lot of the bottle with, leaves, some flowers, thistles, pictures of children, a tea bag, and small little papers rolled up and taped.

Some of the not so pretty things such as dirt, etc. were to represent all the yuckies the not so happy stuff in my heart. With the little hearts that I cut up and coloured I actually think they were a very big part of this whole art piece. I thought about how long it was taking to do this and how tedious it was but it made me think so much about what I was doing since I had to take so much time to work on it. On the hearts I wrote a bunch of things. Things such as exclamation marks, sounds that may describe how my heart feels, horrible feelings that my heart feels and just things that I hold close to my heart. This bottle was mostly filled with wonderful things that bring such joy to my life that I wish I knew how to express to others. How I wish there was this heart language that I can just zap or touch someone and they would be able to share with me what my heart is feeling and how it is beating.

I also had a bunch of little papers that I did not plan for it to be a part of it but there were a bunch of little papers that I wrote out dreams for my future. And all the qualities and things that I pray about over my future husband. Things that I really felt I needed to hand over to God, still continue to pray about, but not something to dwell on so much and to wrack my brain and heart over. I rolled them up and tapped them and placed them in my bottle as a symbol of something that of course is in my heart but that they are for God. They are a part of my future that will be unraveled and untapped later on when it is Gods time.

This week has been such an exhausting week in every kind of way. I have become so aware of my downfalls this week and all the things I need to give to God. [Dave Dickson talked about pride in our lives as well.] And it has been so .... frustrating just being so aware of these and absolutely hating them in myself. BUT. I know that realizing and recognizing them in my life is the first step to changing them.

That, folks, is a little glimpse into my week here. Please have me in your prayers.