Myself, Kristianne, Hanne at LOVEFEAST!It is Sunday again! Which explains why I am here writing another blog. It would be smart of me to be reading my novel because I have a two page little response to write about a novel that I have yet to finish. But I am over half way through and I read most of it all today and a little yesterday. So, it is not a hard read.
Yet, I really do need to make a choice not to procrastinate because really it is robbing myself of a lot. I could learn and grow so much more if only I took the time. I need to learn more of how to invest time in things that are so important.
What happened this week? To be honest I hardly remember! Oi. This week our teaching was on Spiritual Warfare. Learned a lot. Such practical teaching and things that I can really apply to my life. So it was good but a very chaotic week inside my mind. My brain hurt almost the whole week and just longed for rest and peace. Which I think I was trying so hard to get that it just made things worse.
But I am feeling so much better. I talked to my mom for two hours or so during the week and it was mostly me talking. But it was all stuff that really needed to be emptied. There are so many things in my life that I just need to very simply place in Gods hands. And I have so many times that I do this in my thoughts and physically reach out my hands and place them in his. But often without realizing I snatch them back. But if I keep staying in the habit of handing them over eventually they will stay there.
My thoughts have been so bombarded lately. Honestly. It hurts my brain a lot. Such chaos. All these thoughts smashing into eachother and going every which way and I can not keep track of a single one. But
the verse "The Lord is my Sheperd I shall not be want" have been conveniently popping up everywhere. Which is encouraging. Words I continously need to be reminded of. When we got here on the first day they had bowls in each of our rooms with candy and fruit and a card with our names and a bible verse on the back. That was the bible verse I got and I thought to myself "Yeah, good verse." but it did not really click in my heart at that particular time. But boy, did it ever later on. When I randomly decided to read the card again forgetting what the verse was that I got.
It is cool how God works. How he speaks to us.
[My roomates and I during LOVEFEAST.]
Yet, I really do need to make a choice not to procrastinate because really it is robbing myself of a lot. I could learn and grow so much more if only I took the time. I need to learn more of how to invest time in things that are so important.
What happened this week? To be honest I hardly remember! Oi. This week our teaching was on Spiritual Warfare. Learned a lot. Such practical teaching and things that I can really apply to my life. So it was good but a very chaotic week inside my mind. My brain hurt almost the whole week and just longed for rest and peace. Which I think I was trying so hard to get that it just made things worse.
But I am feeling so much better. I talked to my mom for two hours or so during the week and it was mostly me talking. But it was all stuff that really needed to be emptied. There are so many things in my life that I just need to very simply place in Gods hands. And I have so many times that I do this in my thoughts and physically reach out my hands and place them in his. But often without realizing I snatch them back. But if I keep staying in the habit of handing them over eventually they will stay there.
My thoughts have been so bombarded lately. Honestly. It hurts my brain a lot. Such chaos. All these thoughts smashing into eachother and going every which way and I can not keep track of a single one. But
the verse "The Lord is my Sheperd I shall not be want" have been conveniently popping up everywhere. Which is encouraging. Words I continously need to be reminded of. When we got here on the first day they had bowls in each of our rooms with candy and fruit and a card with our names and a bible verse on the back. That was the bible verse I got and I thought to myself "Yeah, good verse." but it did not really click in my heart at that particular time. But boy, did it ever later on. When I randomly decided to read the card again forgetting what the verse was that I got. It is cool how God works. How he speaks to us.
[My roomates and I during LOVEFEAST.]
A few weeks ago when the art track did their testimonial art pieces that was such a week of freedom for me. Freedom when it came to playing drums, freedom for dance, freedom with my relationship with my father. And I feel like I had really stepped into a new chapter of life. A picture my friend I had given me in my small group was of this big book and me standing in the middle of it. On the left hand side were all these old pages filled with my past and on the right hand side was brand new pages of what is to come and the wind was moving and the pages were beginning to flap and to turn.
I made a proclamation of freedom and was stepping into a deeper part of my relationship with God. But these past two weeks have been such a struggle since. It is like all of the things that I was excelling in and that I felt so good about became the very things that I struggled with. And now just typing this out and starting to write I have realized that it is one thing to step into freedom and to declare it over your life but it is another to continue walking in it. I need to keep declaring that freedom over my life and keep living in it.
I am learning peace. I feel like it was never something I struggled with until these past couple of weeks. But I am learning and God is trying to pour his peace over me. To renew my mind.
I am learning peace. I feel like it was never something I struggled with until these past couple of weeks. But I am learning and God is trying to pour his peace over me. To renew my mind.
Prayer Requests: Peace that SURPASSES all understanding.
To learn to be selfless. Not just to serve others when I want to but at the times I really do not want to.
Help with pride in my life. [Jealously, Self Protection, Perfectionism, Critical Spirit.]
Outreach destination this coming March and April. [I think it would be really cool if the place I go to is a place that God is calling me to in the future after I am done this school.]
What I am to do this summer. If I am to stay here in Europe. That I will find the perfect travelling companions. That have the same heart as me. And that the necessary fundings would be there.
LOVE YOU ALL.
Help with pride in my life. [Jealously, Self Protection, Perfectionism, Critical Spirit.]
Outreach destination this coming March and April. [I think it would be really cool if the place I go to is a place that God is calling me to in the future after I am done this school.]
What I am to do this summer. If I am to stay here in Europe. That I will find the perfect travelling companions. That have the same heart as me. And that the necessary fundings would be there.
LOVE YOU ALL.
Find your rest in me child. Be still. Quiet yourself before me. Quiet your thoughts and your worries. My thoughts are to prosper you. I long to give you the desires of your heart but also for you to be in line for what I have for you. My thoughts are not your thoughts. Nor are my ways the same as yours. Mine are so much better. Filled with so much more life.
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